Schizophrenia

Jeff Raymond, Staff Writer

Published: May 25, 2008

When she first started hallucinating almost 20 years ago, Pam thought she was privy to things others weren’t.

The 48-year-old Cushing resident, who asked that her last name not be used, welcomed them, thinking “a new world had opened up” to her alone.

“When you see people and they talk to you, it’s real. Nobody else can see it,” she said. “You’re standing there talking to someone nobody sees.”

It was exhilarating at first, but things progressively worsened.

Her visions became dark, violent, scary. Two or three years ago, police shocked her with a Taser device twice in one evening.

“You don’t know what it’s like for the police to come and Taser you because you refuse to get out of your chair when they tell you to,” she said.

About two years ago a caseworker referred Pam to a Stillwater mobile psychiatric team that now oversees her care and keeps tabs on her progress.

“They kept me at home, they came over every day to check on me,” she said.

Part of Pam’s success has been finding the right doctor. Another part has been finding the right medicine.

The schizophrenia drug Haldol provided relief for a few years but then wore off. Pam couldn’t eat or sleep; she only wanted to smoke cigarettes and drink coffee.

She now takes clozapine.

“When my medicine works I feel like I can be a normal person again,” she said, adding that feeling normal was something she had prayed for.

If she hadn’t found the Stillwater outreach team, she said, she’d be in and out of the hospital.

“I feel good,” she said. “It’s like they’re my friends and family.”

Jeff Raymond: 475-3364, jraymond@oklahoman.com